


For the night is dark and full of terrors

by thisisamadhouse



Series: We have come so far [2]
Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: Neverland (Once Upon a Time), mentions of Regina's torture
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-11
Updated: 2018-03-11
Packaged: 2019-03-30 01:56:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,829
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13940088
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thisisamadhouse/pseuds/thisisamadhouse
Summary: Even the Queen herself can’t keep everything bottled up forever, and Snow has the misfortune to suffer the brunt of it, but maybe it can be the start of the healing of their relationship.





	For the night is dark and full of terrors

**Author's Note:**

> Originally posted for Snow Queen week Day 4: Night Terrorset in early season 3 right before they get to Neverland and then during their stay there.

As Snow White ascended the steep stairs that connected the deck to the cabins below, she wasn’t surprised to find her former stepmother, and not so former arch nemesis, in pretty much the same place and position as she had been when she had left with David to get some rest. Although she wondered how Regina hadn’t collapsed yet given the events of the past few days.

She approached her cautiously, never knowing where they stood, and given their earlier exchange of words and fists, that had left their marks on the Queen turned Mayor’s cheek, she felt even more justified in her prudence.

Snow leaned on the wooden railing by Regina’s side, suppressing a sigh when the other woman immediately tensed up at her appearance.

“You should catch some sleep while we still can. God knows what’s awaiting us on this island,” Snow suggested, careful to keep her tone even but Regina still bristled.

“You really don’t want me to do that,” she snapped.

This time, Snow did sigh. “Regina, we all need to be at the top of our games to save Henry.”

The older woman laughed humorlessly, shaking her head. “Do you really think I don’t know that? I know exactly what’s at stake here. You may have convinced yourselves that I somehow stole Henry from your can-do-no-wrong daughter, but the fact remains that I raised him, I am the reason he is who he is today. Me, not Emma Swan. Henry is MY son, nothing you do or say will ever change that. You can keep us apart, but it won’t make it go away that she abandoned him and never tried to find out what happened to him until he came to look for her,” she was breathless by the end of her rant, trembling, her fists clenched by her sides from the effort it took to keep her voice low enough not to be heard by Hook, who was standing at the tiller, pretending not to try and listen in on them. Her eyes were flashing madly and Snow took a step back, wide eyed.

“Regina, I…” she tried but it wasn’t a bad thing that she was cut off because she had no idea what she could possibly say.

“No, Snow, you don’t get to talk. I have had enough of your lectures and endless reproaches. Earlier you said that I ruined your life but what have I ruined? You have been reunited with your perfect Charming husband and your precious saviour daughter. Once more the band of peasants worship the very ground you walk on. And what do I have? You took everything from me, my son, my mother, my town. Everything I had built you took, again, but it doesn’t matter, does it? Because I’m the villain so it is what I deserve, isn’t it?” She paused, waiting for an answer that never came for Snow still couldn’t think of anything to say.

“Do you know what happens when I fall asleep? I see you standing there handing me my mother’s heart, knowing exactly what will happen when I put it back in, I see you and your husband plotting to either leave me behind and taking my son or imprisoning me in a cell to spend the rest of my days, I see you accusing me of murdering Archie and then saying that you forgot to tell me you knew I was innocent, and in the next breath that I don’t need to be told about my son’s whereabouts. When I think that I had come to you that day to tell you that my mother was in town and trying to lure me back to her. I wanted to do the right thing, but what was the point really?”

Snow felt sick to her stomach as Regina went on and on, unable to stop now that she had started.

“So no Snow, you do not want me to go to sleep because each time I wake up I have to think long and hard about what is stopping me from wiping your entire family from the face of this Earth once and for all and take my son, leaving all of this behind us,” her voice cracked, the angry tears that had been pooling in her eyes until then finally trailed down her cheeks.

The younger brunette stood frozen, watching her former stepmother whom she had always thought of as some sort of indestructible force, fall apart in front of her eyes.

Regina turned away, struggling to breathe and control her sobs, hating herself for even showing an ounce of weakness to that girl. She hadn’t even realised how much of it she had internalized until the dam broke.

“This was never what I wanted,” Snow whispered, swallowing down the lump that had formed in her throat.

“Well, that’s really too bad now, isn’t it?” Regina replied, her voice sounding too gravelly even to her own ears.

“Regina, we need to work together to get Henry back. We have to put all of this behind us and move forward,” the Princess tried, but the Queen laughed that hollow sound again.

“It’s easy for you to say, no matter what occurs on this godforsaken island, you won’t lose much. If the worst were to happen to Henry, I would have no reason to go on. Although I guess that would probably solve a few of your problems.”

Snow gasped, horrified. “How can you say that? We will find him and bring him back, all together, you included.”

“I will believe it when I see it. I have seen what you are capable of Snow, I would put nothing past you,” Regina retorted.

“Don’t you think that’s a bit hypocritical of you?” Snow asked, crossing her arms over her chest defensively.

Regina looked at her pointedly. “And isn’t it your worst nightmare to become like me?”

Snow looked down and muttered. “It wasn’t always.”

Regina’s eyebrows flew up as she caught her statement. “Well, you should have remembered that before, when it still meant something.”

She turned around and walked away, leaving her once stepdaughter gawping after her. She joined Hook, who offered her some of his rum, and tried -and failed- to subtly question her about her altercation with the Princess. She dismissed him but accepted the flask, the warmth of the strong alcohol a welcome relief after having given away so much to the last person she ever wanted to confide herself in.

Snow’s eyes were burning from unshed tears as she stared at the woman she had once looked up to so fervently. She wondered, not for the first time, when Regina had lost herself, and if there ever would be a way to get back the young woman who had saved her life. _Henry is the only one for whom she would ever want to change and we have prevented this from happening for months_ , she thought as she went back below deck to her husband.

* * *

It had to happen, Regina had to crumple at some point. Snow had noticed how she pretended to sleep, but never looked rested in the mornings (can one even talk about mornings when the sun never seems to shine in this land of eternal night?), with her arms crossed over her chest and her brow furrowed, never relaxed, never letting her guard down. It couldn’t go on for long.

The Princess was on night watch when she caught the first twitches and whimpers coming from the Queen’s corner. She observed her for a few moments, holding her breath, waiting to see if it would turn into a real nightmare or not. She remembered from long ago some nights where she could hear Regina’s terrified screams from her own room, and she shivered at the memory.

Regina was laying rigid and Snow could see tears falling silently, a whimper of pain escaping her from time to time until her body convulsed, and suddenly it was clear when and where her mind was trapped. Snow fought the urge to hurl as an onslaught of sensations threatened to overwhelm her from the time she had seen and felt things through Regina with the help of one of her tears. The pain was unlike anything she had ever felt before, so intense and raw, all her nerve endings on fire, she just couldn’t understand how someone could ever survive it.

It was too much, she couldn’t let Regina suffer through this again. No matter what the other woman thought, no matter how cruel they sometimes could be to one another, no one deserved this kind of torment.

She stumbled to her side, falling on her knees and seized her arms with shaky hands. The reaction was immediate, Snow was pushed back with a wave of magic, landing heavily on her back, winded, while Regina straightened up, confused and scared, before her eyes fell on Snow’s form on the ground.

“What do you think you’re doing?” The sorceress asked, hoping the girl wouldn’t hear the tremble in her voice.

“You looked in pain, I was just trying to wake you from your nightmare,” Snow answered softly, pressing a hand over her chest as she regained her breathing.

“Oh,” Regina let out, looking troubled.

“Like you, I have had enough of them to know how it feels not to have anyone to stop them,” the younger brunette stated plainly, no judgement in her voice, just a simple fact.

Her once stepmother looked away, worrying her bottom lip between her teeth.

“We did mean it, you know,” Snow added, and Regina turned back towards her, lifting an eyebrow, a questioning look on her face. “You are family. There is a lot of bad blood and a lot of unresolved issues but you are. We went about it all wrong, but it’s not too late. It’s never too late. We will get your son back,” she continued, looking from Emma, lying oblivious a few steps away, to Regina, “and when we’re home, maybe we can try, for Henry’s sake, to be civil, to show a united front,” she threw Regina a tentative smile, eyes brimming with hope, and the other woman exhaled, closing her eyes tightly for a minute, and then nodding slowly.

“Let’s take it one day at a time, shall we?” She said at last. “I will cover the rest of the shift, go get some rest,” she added in a much gentler voice than Snow had had the chance to hear in a very long while.

 _Nothing was solved, not in one night, but it was a start_ , Snow thought as she laid her head on Charming’s chest, letting his heartbeat calm her down until the pull was too hard to resist and her eyes closed. It was Strange, but she felt strangely comforted by the heavy weight of Regina’s stare. Maybe there was still a chance, even after everything. She was determined to try.


End file.
